Is it even possible?

Just now, a friend of mine asked me a sensitive question (edited version);

friend: hang nampak sihat la ni. senang hati eh??

me: senang hati apanya..

friend: ye la, makin bam bam ni..

me: hahaha. aku risau sebenarnya fikir pasal berat badan aku ni... Dalam masa 4 tahun ni, aku dah naik 11 kg...

Well, I admit it. this weight gain issue strikes me every single day. Few days back, Ibu called me;

Ibu: akak, untuk baju raya tahun ni, nak ikut ukuran baju yang mana ya? yang colour hijau tu boleh?

me: akak rasa dah tak boleh la bu. besarkan sikit tang dada, pinggang ngan punggung tu..

Hell yeah, I'm damn worried about my weight and appearance right now. Especially with this upcoming raya. People will definitely ask. I know I should do some jogging and not to forget control my diet. 

And my boyfriend, he is as thin as a lamp post. And each time I walk by his side, I have this weird feeling of incompatibility. We look like 1-0. And that makes me feel ashamed. Ashamed of my fatty body.  

Is it even possible to get back to my previous, ideal body weight? Can I do it? Frankly, I don't know the answer. 

At some points, I feel like crying. The truth really hurts. And I'm beginning to feel inferior. Now, I know what it really feels like to be a plump, not-pretty girl.